Last Name
by Lord Vetis
Summary: When Remus and his boyfriend have the argument to end all arguments, Remus goes out to have a night on the town and drown his sorrows. When he wakes up married to a complete stranger, though, he may need to reassess the situation.  Non-Magic AU, RL/SB
1. Chapter 1

**Author's **: Figured I should put some general information here, at the start of the story. Don't jump my ass if it's not repeated throughout - I don't like how author's notes at the start of a chapter looks.

Warning: There be gay-ness in this fic. Don't like it? Don't read. Read anyway? Don't bother flaming.

This story is rated M for - Extreme language, some violence, and possible sexual content. Anything explicit will be posted elsewhere, as per FanFiction's ToS. I know you lot don't like it, I don't either, but I don't wanna risk some asshole getting me banned for it. :I

Disclaimer: I do not own. I do not own. I do not own. If I did, Remus Lupin and Nymphodora Tonks would not have been married. :I

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_I think I could fall madly in bed with you._ ~ Author Unknown

The bar was smoky and badly lit at the time of night it was - close to midnight. Some no-name band that acted like they were big was playing loudly in the cornered stage, and that was in violent competition against the TV that was playing replays of the game that day. Not that Remus Lupin knew what game that would be - that was always more Fenrir's taste, and after the argument earlier that had landed his belongings (not many, seeing as they all fit in two suitcases) in the Motel 6 right across the street from the bar, he couldn't care less about sports.

He always had just pretended to care, anyway.

He'd driven as far as he could before he feared his own safety, weaving back and forth between the two lanes that drove into the party city he was in at the moment - not that it seemed very lively on a Wednesday. Already, he'd called into the school and took a family emergency vacation - a week would be more than enough to gather his wits about him, and hunt out an apartment far enough from the one Fenrir had rented that he wouldn't be a wreck before school daily.

Which brought him to where he was at the moment - specifically, a rather dull bar, other than a few drunk couples swing-dancing to the trashy Shinia Twain cover the no-name band was dragging out, and the couple of men shouting at the game on the TV - obviously in no rush to get home to a cold dinner and colder wife. He himself was slumped over the bar, staring down into the glass filled to the brim with Jack.

He hardly ever drank. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy it, nor was it that he was worried about becoming an alcoholic - he simply never had a reason to. But now after that stupid ass argument with Fenrir, drowning his sorrows seemed like the most preferable reaction he could have. Honestly, it had been such a dumb little argument, he couldn't even remember what had started it, just that it had unraveled quickly by the time Remus was digging out his suitcases and Fenrir was actually throwing the teacher's clothes out of the closet at him.

_ You're a workaholic!_

**Yeah? Well at least I don't stay out till midnight screwing all my secretaries and then tell my loving boyfriend I was working overtime!**

_Don't you fucking go there!_

**Oh, sorry, would you rather me bring up what a slob you are? Or how you think you can push me around?**

That was when the punch had landed, bruising his chest in a blossoming purple and yellow that made it hurt a little to breath. But at least it wasn't on his face. Explaining that to his coworkers as part of his 'family emergency' would have just gotten complicated.

Understandably, after the punch, Fenrir had left the apartment, the china in the cabinet rattling when he slammed the door shut behind him, and Remus quietly packed his clothes in his suitcases. Maybe the Jack would ease up the pain in his chest - physical, not emotional. He felt surprisingly calm about the mess - it was doubtful that he'd bat an eyelash if he caught the businessman fucking his secretary on the hood of _his _hard-earned 'Vette.

"Oh, Jack, you're the only man who I can stand at the moment." He sighed softly, before knocking back the drink in one swift, practiced move. It went down easily enough, and he motioned for the bartender to pour him a second.

And then a third. A fourth, and then the bartender was quite seriously refusing to pour him any more. Really, it wasn't like he was struggling with reality - he had a firm grasp on the language, and proved to the bartender that he still had a firm grasp on the theory of gravity - by bumping into someone who had just entered the bar, and almost going crashing to the ground.

Instead of having his arse becoming fast friends with a filthy floor that he felt would be unsanitary to even touch, though, there was suddenly one hand grasping his hand and another on his waist, steadying him. "Hey, hey, careful there, babe." A silky smooth laugh followed the just as smooth stranger's voice, and Remus blinked slowly. All he saw was leather, and that could never be too much of a bad thing.

"Ah, sorry, was just trying to prove to the gentleman behind the counter that I'm perfectly able to get another drink." Remus would've been ashamed, later, that he was rambling, but he was, and was far too distracted by the intense stormy grey eyes and soft black hair, and the owner of said features poured into quite well-tailored leather jacket and pants.

"I know how that is." The stranger laughed again, righting the teacher easily, but curiously, the hold on his waist wasn't released, but instead tugged him a little closer. When Remus didn't even attempt to fight back, the grey eyes flashed in interest. "Third bar I'm visiting tonight." A devilish grin. "Where're you from, cutie?"

Normally, Remus would have protested, on principle, the very notion of being called things like 'cutie' and 'babe', but the stranger made the words sound quite enjoyable, and Remus didn't find himself caring nearly as much as he should've. "Oh, I'm from Surrey, actually. Just drove in tonight." He bit his tongue firmly to keep from rambling on about the argument with Fenrir and leaving and kept it short. Short was good.

Though they were the same height, and that was even better. "Oh really? You came quite a ways." The stranger had the most charming smile Remus could suddenly remember ever having seen, and it made his knees feel a little weak, and other areas not so weak.

"I did," _and damn, am I glad I did, _he added to himself, before teasingly tugging himself out of the stranger's grasp. "C'mon, I'll buy you a drink, since you've been to so many bars t'night." Suddenly, he didn't quite care that he taught grammar and how to sound correct when speaking - more of his focus went into swaying just the right way up to the bar, aware of the stranger's striking eyes stuck on him.

And then he heard the low mutter of the dark-haired man, and it all went sinking straight to Remus's groin. "Mm, I think I see something I'd like more than another drink."

Remus couldn't remember how it started, but suddenly they were dancing right against the band's stage, grinding against each other in a competition (unsaid) to try and get each other hard as fast as possible, before they were swinging and tugging at each other in some fancy step that had inhabited, untapped, in some corner of their minds. 'Babe' and 'cutie' kept being murmured in his ear, along with a rough laugh, and he would laugh softly in turn, shivering when he felt the man's teeth trace the ear he'd been talking into.

Then, as best as he could recall straight away, they were tearing at each others' clothes in his cheap-ass hotel room and tumbling into bed together. They certainly acted like they wanted to make the neighbors jealous with how they went at each other relentlessly, gasping and moaning and screaming among the slamming of the headboard against the wall, finally succumbing to sleep when the sky in the window was turning a soft pink with the sunrise.

It was long after noon when Remus groaned, stretched and forced himself awake, glaring at the alarm clock that was blaring what he hoped was a completely wrong time. There was no way he slept through till one in the afternoon. Then, though, his hand that was clutching his pillow caught and held his attention, a simple gold band encircling his ring finger. He raised his head and examined the hand as if it was detached from him, eyes wide.

"Oh fuck..." His voice was hoarse, and then he realized that an arm was heavy on his waist and he glanced over, seeing the stranger from the night before - Sirius, his memory of the bar's hushed conversation supplied, though no last name came with it - sleeping beside him, quite obviously just as undressed as he was.

With a matching gold ring.

"Oh _fuck."_

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Author's Note: And so begins our story. This started as a little idea in the back of my head, listening to country music on a fourteen hour drive. Obviously, the credit of that goes to Carrie Underwood and her same-titled 'Last Name'. Let's see, I had to dust off this account in order to post, so I'm technically new to the site, since it's been a little over three years since I last posted.

What else, what else... I have one more chapter written, but I'm going to use that as my buffer while I try to finish up writing everything. I want to have this all written before November starts, or anyone who reads this will be in for a bit of a wait, since I'll be devoting my November to a story for NaNoWriMo.

Please leave a review if you liked it! I run off of good vibes, which is why I'm posting this!


	2. Chapter 2

_Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions_. ~ Woody Allen

"I don't see why you're so worried. We were pissed drunk last night, there's no way it's valid." The dark-haired man grumbled from the driver's seat, looking tousled and still tired, stubble colouring his jawline. "And I mean, 'less I was more drunk than I remember, there's no way you're gonna be pregnant." A glance at him, eyebrow quirked. "Right?"

"Oh shut it and keep driving. It was that little chapel at a cul de sac." Remus huffed, worrying the space on his finger that had had the ring on it over night. He'd woken up Sirius in a panic, and was now regretting not going on his own. He desperately wanted to believe the guy that there was no way but... "We have rings. We have rings, we were drunk, and there's a 24-hour marriage chapel. I have a bad feeling-"

"That we'll get divorced? Oh no, that'll suck." Sirius rolled his eyes in mock-terror, before yelping when the teacher slugged him, scowling at him.

"Are you always this much of a smart-ass?" A huff, before he was pointing across the intersection they'd slowed to a stop at. "That's the place. I remember that much."

It had seemed a lot prettier at night - or at least, in the eyes of a drunkard that was apparently looking to escape into a rushed matrimony. This was definitely something he'd have to keep from his mother if he could. She'd be mortified if she learned he'd ran out and gotten hitched to a complete stranger.

"As a matter of fact, I am when a good one night stand turns into a bother." Even wrinkling his nose, somehow Sirius appeared attractive, and Remus looked away with another frown while Sirius parked. "Well, c'mon, let's go see so I can bloody well prove to you that this is just a fake and we can part ways, got it?"

Remus nodded in agreement, climbing out of the 'Vette - Sirius drove a motorcycle, which Remus chalked up to being unsurprising, and Remus allowed Sirius to drive his precious Corvette rather than risking crash it himself in his stress combined with a hangover. The lights were swimming as it was.

Time seemed to be skipping around, like a scratched CD. The paper was suddenly in his hand, registered and signed by both of them, and it felt so much heavier than the weight a piece of paper should've held. He was staring at it, without really seeing it - the manager was talking on and on about how all marriages were legal and valid. He finally gathered himself enough to set the paper on the counter, before Sirius's cocky voice interjected his thoughts.

"So... you _can't _get preggers, right babe?" Suddenly, apparently, that seemed loads more possible, if they had legally gotten married. Sirius shut up quickly when Remus looked at him with narrowed eyes. "Well, may as well ask." A shrug, raising his hands in his own defense, before he turned his attention to the manager. "So, about voiding this..."

Just then, the phone that was hastily shoved in Remus's pocket went off, loudly blaring Kiss With A Fist. He frowned, then grimaced as he remembered who the ringtone belonged to. _Then_ the brilliant, spiteful idea of just how beneficial this mistake was hit him, and he snapped his head up at the almost-stranger and the man who had apparently legally wed them. "Not just yet. Please, Sirius. I'm... we might be able to make this work, right?" He smiled easily, though he felt bad for leading the man on a little.

The look Sirius gave him with those intense grey eyes was ridiculous, it was so incredulous. "The only time we've really talked was when we were _drunk_ but you want to stay married?" He huffed. "I'm understanding this right?" He was tapping a finger impatiently on the desk between them and the man who probably saw something like this on a weekly basis - though he had an amused smile on his face, because Remus was sure that the marriage actually lasting longer than twenty-four hours out of choice probably wasn't very high on occurrence.

Remus only nodded, smiling at him innocently, having silenced his phone. He could just imagine Fenrir growling in annoyance when it went to voicemail and hanging up before he left a message. Now that he looked at it - their relationship had horrible communication. Greyback hardly ever left him a message, and he never called Greyback when he'd be late coming home, or the like. They didn't talk about the bedroom at all, which left everything quick and Remus more than unsatisfied.

Already, he thought Sirius may have understood him better, and he looked curiously thoughtful, before he offered a lazy smile that left Remus a little weak in the knees and subtly leaning on the counter. There was no doubt in his mind that Sirius was quite the handsome man, and knew how to use his looks to his every advantage. And then came the response that left Remus wondering about a lot of things.

"Sure."

"Seriously? Don't just say that if you aren't going to give this a real shot." Remus pouted and then froze when a self-assured finger was pressed to his lips, a confident smile meeting his eyes.

"Oh, don't you fret about that, babe. I don't like half-assing anything, and I don't think I'm really willing to start now." And suddenly with the rather ravenous, critical look up and down Remus's body, before what normally should've been a comical lick of his lips, Remus's stomach dropped out from where he was perfectly comfortable having it. No, this man was certainly shameless about how he'd act, and if Remus was completely honest with himself (though he couldn't remember the last time he was), then he would perfectly enjoy that - being able to read someone without too much thought would be relaxing.

"I guess I'll take your word about that for now, then, Sirius."

After only exchanging short pleasantries with the man who had married them the previous night, they were out of the chapel and back in the car, Remus finally back in control of the wheel.

"So, we should probably get to know each other, Remus." Hearing his name made Remus blink and shiver a little - he didn't even quite understand why, just that that smile was tempting beyond belief when he glanced at it. This was actually rather liberating, being able to openly enjoy someone other than Fenrir's looks. To allow his own smile to appear in turn as he nodded in agreement.

"Sure, that sounds like a good idea. Where should we start?"

Sirius made a show of thinking, Remus would give him that. He hummed, a deep, rumbling sound as the tawny-haired man pulled out of the parking lot. That same, deep voice made Remus slam on the brakes when the question was asked, but thankfully, he could keep a cool head and avoided any dangerous driving maneuvers.

"So why do you feel like staying married to a complete stranger? There's gotta be a reason." Sirius's eyes were fixed on him, while he made himself quite comfortable in the passenger seat.

There was no comfortable way Remus could possibly conceive admitting that he was doing this to get his ex-boyfriend jealous and making him work to get him back. Not only was it cruel and rather selfish, but it was just begging for either blackmail by this stranger he'd never talked to before, or opened him up to just get rejected and left, after Sirius got his good share of laughter in.

Which left Remus only one other option - think fast and then evade. "Oh, I dunno. Seems kind of exciting, don't you think? An adventure I might not otherwise enjoy, and it's not like if it doesn't work out, we won't be able to get divorced later on, right?" A soft laugh, embarrassed as if he'd just admitted his deepest, darkest secret. "Now, come on, let's get some breakfast. You're hungry, right? I saw a Denny's not too far from here..."

The silence from the passenger seat told Remus that Sirius quite clearly could tell the cop-out response from what should've been truth and that he wasn't pleased - but he didn't push the subject. "Sure, breakfast sounds good, babe," he sighed, instead, slumping in his seat, resembling closer to a child.

Breakfast consisted of pancakes and coffee (cream and sugared up for Remus, completely black for his husband) and they actually were joking and laughing. Butter had been transferred from Sirius's finger to Remus's nose and then lapped up jokingly, and they'd talked about favourite music (with Sirius swearing to get the honey-eyed man into Flogging Molly and Dropkick Murphys, which got Remus wondering if all Celtic punk were so violent) and dream careers.

Sirius was a mechanic, Remus learned, and an unemployed one. Surprisingly enough, he'd been on his slow way to the Surrey area to visit some friends of his, who hopefully would help him find a job there - there was nothing back where he'd lived previously. Honestly, it seemed too good to be true, but Sirius proved it with a picture of him slung over two friends' shoulders - a shorter, bespectacled man with messy , and a stout, dirty-blond man, both of whom looked cheerful and good-humoured - in front of a local Surrey bar Remus had drank at more than once. It felt like one needed to have a humourous attitude in order to have any sort of patience with the dark haired man.

Fenrir wouldn't be able to stand him if the two were in the same room, Remus had a feeling.

Somehow, the realization only hit towards the end of breakfast, and Remus tilted his head. "You know, this has got to be the oddest question, but you looked at the certificate, I didn't... did either of us take on a new last name?" It seemed like a silly thing to ask, but at the same time, it changed all sort of legal documents that were rather important to know about.

"Oh! Yeah, you did. Took on my last name. I think it sounds bloody good, too," Sirius was grinning, and it was contagious. Remus found himself smiling along with it, even though he still had questions and concerns.

"Okay then, scratch that being the weirdest question. I have a better one." He waved his fork with a laugh, clearing his throat. Honestly, he wanted to shake his head. This, right here, was enough to tell him, with screaming alarms and bright lights, that this was some sort of bad idea that he'd regret in the long run. "What's my last name, then?"

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Author's Note: Well, hopefully everyone likes this chapter as much as the first one. I'm so pleased with the success chapter 1 met, thank you to all the readers who favourited, put an alert on this story and/or reviewed! The attention means the world to me.

I just finished typing up Chapter 3, but my friend, and lovely beta Cocobunny79 suggested a weekly update would be the best. She's written her own story for these lovely pups, called 'Look at Us', and if you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend it!

See you all next Friday. As always, please review~.


	3. Chapter 3

"Parfois, un seul baiser suffit a tout changer.

Sometimes, one single kiss is enough to change everything." - Unknown

Remus made a face at the yellowing bruise on his chest as he shrugged on a shirt in front of the mirror in the bathroom. Bastard had hit him way too hard, if it was already yellowing away half a week later. Sirius had asked him about it, and he told him the truth – to a point, anyway. It definitely helped explain why he needed a hotel room while they found an apartment.

"I had an argument with my roommate. He slugged me. I moved out."

Sirius had accepted it without too much of a question, and they'd found a two-bedroom apartment together, that they could scrape by with payments to until Sirius got hired somewhere – his friend James had promised he had a few good deals to check out with him. Remus had been unsure about sleeping in the same bed as someone he didn't really know, and they'd agreed that they needed to learn a bit more about each other.

Sirius had started off the conversation like a champion. "Hi, husband. My name's Sirius Black. I'm 25 and I like nothing more than to be sprawled under a car's engine or hearing a motorcycle purr to life after I've worked on it. I like blokes and I'm always looking for an exciting adventure. And I've been told I have a very canine-like personality." He then extended his hand, and Remus took it with a laugh.

This wasn't at all awkward, laying sprawled together in a complete state of undress in the hotel bed. At least, that was what Remus was telling himself. "Okay, Sirius Black. I'm Remus Lu-." The grin on the older man's face made him stop, and he blinked, before laughing, shaking his head. "I'm Remus John Lupin-Black. 24, teacher. I /like/ dogs," another grin was given at that. "And I enjoy reading just about anything I can get my hands on."

"Well, you seem interesting enough, Mr. Lupin-Black. And you have pretty good taste in men." A waggle of an elegant brow, and they both had dissolved into laughter.

And then they had found a small two-bedroom to rent, which seemed perfect, and while they hardly had any furniture - two mattresses, one on each bedroom's floor, and a refrigerator - it still felt like a good home. Comfortable. And so much more lively than the apartment with Fenrir had been. They'd danced to no music, Sirius tugging Remus into some odd mix of a ballroom waltz and row dancing, and the dark-haired man had asked him to read out loud the first chapter of the book he'd had the substitute that was teaching his class for the week while he laid on his lap.

Remus wasn't used to so much attention, and Sirius was even brightly telling him that there was an easy glow to the tawny-haired man suddenly. He was flourishing under the attention, and the laugher that filled the apartment nightly. They didn't eat much; mostly fast food that Sirius ran out to get on his motorcycle. That was one thing that Remus was terrified of. He wouldn't step foot on what he called the 'metal death trap'. Still, during the day they went out, and found cheap furniture, and soon enough, the apartment was really looking furnished, and they were able to sprawl out over the couch.

The next weekend, before Remus had to return to work, they separately contacted friends and family - respectfully, Sirius called his two best friends, and Remus called his parents, and both parties were told to meet at a local coffee shop for a rather important announcement. Remus had his reservations about telling his parents and a couple of strangers about a rather hastily made decisions, but Sirius soothed those concerns. It would be fine, and after all - they'd clicked so well over that week, it was hard to believe that they wouldn't continue to. Or at least, that was Sirius's self-assured reasoning, complete with that grin Remus was learning quickly was somehow designed to make his knees weaken a little and make swallowing a little harder.

And damn it all, it worked, every time.

Sunday morning found him nervously fixing his hair - who knew that on the one day he wanted to look good, his hair was stuck looking like someone had continuously ruffled it the night before? Of course, the mutt in the other room (mutt was quickly becoming his affectionate petname for the man he was learning to really care for) was hugely responsible for that, but he didn't want to have such an appearance for his loving parents who had stuck resolutely with him even after he had admitted less that pure feelings for the same gender. His remaining friends at that point had made it a huge thing to constantly remind him how lucky he was that he hadn't been disowned for such a confession.

The previous night had been full of a heated political debate, even though they seemed to be rather in agreement on much of the issues. It still didn't stop them from becoming incensed and increasing the volume at which they spoke - until suddenly, Sirius had pounced on Remus and started tickling him mercilessly, somehow finding and attacking each of the man's weak points. Finally, breathlessly, kicking uselessly and flailing his arms to try and push Sirius off, Remus had cried out "Sirius! Sirius, stop it!" His voice had expertly sounded like he was in pain, and the dark-haired man, with that beautiful smile framed by lovely lips, had froze, quickly looking concerned.

And then he had found himself on the floor instead, the teacher pinning him to the uncomfortable, scratchy carpet, and tickling him right back, laughing easily.

"Traitor! Liar! Cheater!" Sirius had accused as he howled with laughter, imprisoned under Remus's frame, left without escape as Remus repaid him duly.

Finally, he'd gotten Remus captured once more, and commenced playing with his hair, mussing it completely, while Remus struggled to catch his breath. He was, by no means, over-weight -Sirius having even commented that his weight was disconcertingly low - but he couldn't remember the last time he had exerted so much energy into a few moments. Surprisingly, when he looked at the clock on the wall, they had apparently spent close to fifteen minutes just wrestling on the living room floor.

He'd gone to sleep smiling.

Now, however, he was almost shaking with the stress of talking to his parents. Even more awkward was the fact that he had no one else to tell - he didn't want to reveal his marriage to Fenrir just yet, and dating Greyback for so long had resulted in his few old friendships ending - noone wanted anything to do with that man, apparently, which included keeping up a friendship with Remus. Sirius had looked properly contrite when Remus had answered his question of why his parents were the only ones he called to meet with a "Don't have any friends left, other than my coworkers. And they're more acquaintances than anything."

It was better than the silence he was met with when he questioned about Sirius's lack of informing his own family. Finally, during an awkward silence during the ride to the coffee shop, Sirius tapping agitatedly on the arm rest of the passenger seat, he sighed loudly, which commanded Remus's attention. "Disowned me when I came out as a shirt-lifter. Didn't like them anyway, bunch of tight-asses, but my brother wouldn't even talk to me after. So I don't think they'd want to hear I'd gone and married some bloke on some drunken stint, no." He shook his head. "Guess I'm a little jealous that you feel comfortable enough with your parents to tell them."

"Oh... I'm sorry, Sirius." Remus frowned softly, apologetically, and laid his hand over Sirius's thoughtlessly, squeezing it gently. "Mom and Dad'll love you, I know it. If that makes you feel any better?" He offered a weak smile.

"And how can you sound so sure of that?"

"Well, you aren't my last ex-boyfriend, for one." Remus chuckled, pulling the car into a parking space alongside the street in front of the coffee shop. And that was certainly true - Remus had been with Greyback for so long, he was constantly being shocked by how Sirius treated him gently, and how full of laughter their interactions generally were.

"Well, that certainly makes me feel worthy of the title of husband, if that's enough to guarantee they'll like me." Sirius's good nature was back, thankfully, and while Remus was putting the Corvette into park, he leaned over, kissing his cheek. Oddly enough, it felt far more intimate than the few times they'd had sex so far, and Remus felt his cheeks be engulfed in a blush. He leaned back with a carefree smile and waited until his suddenly silent tawny husband was out of the car, before climbing out, himself. He tugged Remus close by his waist, arm settling there comfortably.

The cafe's bell rang cheerfully to announce their entrance, and no one really bothered to look up, much less give them a stink-eye that they were two guys practically cuddling as they walked. They went to the counter, and ordered just plain iced teas, and sat at a large table in the back. It felt automatic - hell, natural - when their hands slipped into each other on the space between them in the booth, entwining. Suddenly it almost felt like a first date, and Remus squirmed slightly, feeling like he could sink into the floor. Because the first date felt like it would soon be complete with a questioning from his father, and that had never been comfortable for him or the boy in question.

And sure enough, his parents were the first to arrive - his mother looking as nice as always, hair crimped into gentle curls, and his father looking proper. He reluctantly dropped Sirius's hand and stood, all smiles, not betraying the nervousness in his stomach. "Mom, Dad. Thanks for showing up." He smiled warmly, walking around the table and hugging them both, individually.

"Of course, darling." Catherine Lupin smiled gently, kissing his cheek while John Lupin patted his back with the same warm sentiments. When Remus turned around, Sirius was already standing, smoothing out a dress shirt they'd bought at a thrift store - he didn't own any of his own, not seeing the point as a mechanic.

"Mr. and Mrs. Lupin, pleasure to meet you. I'm Sirius Black." He smiled, and the way he introduced himself made it almost seem like he was supposed to be recognized. Of course, this was just his sort of personality, and Catherine's delighted smile broke across her face when he bent and kissed her hand told Remus right away that he'd have no problem convincing them to accept him.

"Nice to meet you, Sirius." John acknowledged with his own smile, before pulling out his wife's chair for her, before going to order them both drinks.

"We're just waiting for a few of my friends, now." Sirius told Remus's mother, laying a hand on hers and leaning in as if they were sharing some scandalous secret, and Catherine, to her credit, nodded, despite looking rather confused.

Soon enough, there were seven people sitting around the table, joking and laughing - generally getting along. There was James and Lily Potter, Sirius's best friends and apparently high school sweethearts, and Peter Pettigrew, who was the group's other best friend. Remus felt instantly welcomed into their group, folded in with open arms, and Lily was currently asking him quite a few questions about who he was.

John Lupin was doing the same with Sirius, and the remaining three who weren't involved with this double-sided interrogation were sometimes surprised by how often the questions matched up.

Finally, though, in that wonderfully theatric way Sirius often presented himself, he cleared his throat, excusing himself from a mostly sated John, and looked around the table. "Now, for why we called you lot here."

"You two are dating, right?" Catherine surmised and she looked quite happy at the thought.

"Ah... not exactly, mom." Remus shook his head and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, before Sirius beat him to the punch, lifting their entwined hands with matching gold bands.

"We got married last week!"

Silence and shocked faces met them, and Remus shrunk down in his seat slightly. "Ah... surprise?"

Then the pretty redhead who had been getting along with Remus burst into laughter, covering her mouth. "Married? You guys are hilarious! "

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Author's Note: I'd just like to say thank you for the 21 alerts, 7 favourites and 11 reviews I've received for this story so far. It means so much that you're enjoying reading this as much as I'm enjoying writing it.

I just want to put this disclaimer out though - I live in Southern California, and I'm only versed in California and American politics. I also don't know the lay of Surrey/England in general, so please excuse any discrepancies my story may have with reality.


	4. Chapter 4

_"Immature love says, 'I love you because I need you.'" [...]_ - Erich Fromm

Sirius's friends, and understandably Remus's parents, had all felt properly scandalized, and Remus and Sirius had split into their respective groups to explain things. Remus wasn't sure what Sirius told Lily, James and Peter, but he was honest with his parents - actually more honest than he'd been with Sirius himself.

"Why in the world would you marry someone you've just started dating?" John frowned at his son, eyes level with the pretty hazel eyes Remus had inherited from him.

"Complete stranger."

"What was that?" Catherine blinked, off-guard.

"He was a complete stranger to me when we got married. We were both drunk, apparently the package we paid for included cheap gold rings, and..." He shrugged slightly, before glancing over his shoulder at his husband, who was talking as he normally did - hands flailing and with a smile on his face. That brought a smile to his own face. "He's a really good guy though, and I'm actually kind of hoping this lasts for a while."

"Why didn't you just divorce him? What happened to Greyback?" His mother's distaste for that man was clear. He shook his head.

"We almost did, the next morning." A sigh. Suddenly, Remus was regretting telling them so soon, "But I had gone out in that area after Fenrir and I pretty much broke up, and I just wanted to drink, and well..." He shrugged. "He called while we were talking how to go about a divorce. And I just decided that it would serve him right if he found out that I'd ran out and gotten married." The further he went into the explanation, though, the sillier it seemed.

"And does Sirius know about this decision you've made?" John quirked a brow.

"Not... not exactly." Remus shook his head, crossing his arms. "We agreed to give this thing a chance though. And it's going really well so far." At least, he thought so. It felt like it was, and he was having so much fun getting to know Sirius.

Finally, the Lupins, Potters, and Peter had all left with tentative well-wishings to the new couple, leaving Sirius and Remus in their small booth with their watered down iced-teas. Remus stared at his, watching a drop of condensation run down the side of it, while Sirius sucked down the remainder of his.

His parents had warned him. 'We don't want you putting yourself in a loveless marriage'. 'We don't like the idea of you marrying a stranger'. There were tons of ways to phrase it all, but ultimately, it was all the same. They weren't happy about his idea of throwing himself precariously into interacting with a complete stranger. But they trusted him, and were happy to see him smiling - especially without Fenrir still at his side.

"That was rather eventful." He jokingly summed up, looking at Sirius, who nodded in agreement.

"Lily and James adore you, Remus." He informed with a grin, reaching over and ruffling his hair. "Fucking adore you. Peter wants to get to know you more before he makes a decision, but he's always been a tough critic. Thinks I fuck everything that moves. Well, so does James, but I really don't, promise!"

There was only a slow blink for a moment, Remus trying to register everything that the other man hurriedly said, before he dissolved into laughter.

"Wha-? Remus, what's so funny?" If it was possible, Sirius sounded wounded at the laughter, pouting slightly.

Waving his hand, Remus shook his head until the laughter subsided. "You're just energetic, Sirius. Like a puppy. It's cute." He smiled, and it was a sincere expression. "My parents like you plenty. They're worried I've made a huge mistake, but mom even admitted she had been thinking what a wonderful boyfriend you'd be for me, before we told them." He laughed softly.

"Really? That's great to hear." Sirius was practically beaming, before he stood. "C'mon, I feel like a real date suddenly. Especially if you're going back to work tomorrow." There was a pout, but still, Remus couldn't help but take the extended hand that was offered to him.

"Sure, a date sounds nice." He laughed gently, as the dark-haired man tugged him close.

"Told you I wouldn't half-ass this, Rem." He smiled at him, stealing another sweet, quick kiss to his check. He seemed delighted to see the blush rise to the teacher's cheeks, and released him. "Now, let's see..." Sirius seemed to take delight in the way Remus shrunk slightly at the public display, and the looks it now attracted, as he pretended to stroke a beard that wasn't there. "How about a club? Those are always fun." He suggested chipperly, with a laugh that was low.

"Clubs are a bit noisy, and neither of us are dressed for it." Remus turned down with a smile, shaking his head.

"Dinner?"

"Little expensive after we just rented our apartment, don't you think?"

"Well, what in the world can we do that doesn't cost money?" Exasperated, Sirius threw his hands in the air, and froze when Remus laughed and kissed his cheek.

"We'll figure out something. How about just play for shots of cheap beer for blackjack, or something? It's nice, at home..." He shrugged at the suggestion.

Sirius made a face, but assented. "As soon as I have a job, though, I'm taking you out on a proper date. A movie, a dinner, and then we'll go to a club. Got it?" He grinned.

"Yeah, yeah, sure you will." Remus laughed softly, confidently taking his hand and pulling him out of the coffee shop, and back to his treasured car.

Night fell sooner than they realized, but they didn't care. The whole apartment smelled like Irish beer, and they were both easily reduced to laughter - one of them miscounted, or misspoke, and suddenly they were both leaning on each other to laugh it out. It wasn't that they were so drunk that it was a repeat of the night they'd met each other. No, they were mostly lucid.

"Blackjack!" Remus declared happily, flipping his facedown card. He was sitting up, crossed-legs and all, though his dress-shirt was mostly unbuttoned and hanging off his frame - that was from a decision Sirius had made, stating that Remus was making him hot just looking at him. And granted, the apartment did seem to get hot easily - their dinner of Blue Boxed Mac n Cheese had warmed the entire flat up, after all. But Remus had a sneaking suspicion, with how Sirius's fingers had lingered on each button just a little too long, that he was only using the heat as an excuse.

"What? Buggering hell, Remus, how the hell have you pulled three Blackjacks out of your arse?" Sirius, who was sitting with his legs sprawled out in front of him, scowled at the tawny-haired teacher. He was still fully dressed, but he was also taking the brunt of Lady Luck's beating. Pouting as he poured out two shots and downing them both - the rules they had decided up in the event of a Blackjack.

Remus watched as those tempting lips parted around the rim of the shot glass and knocked back the drink, and swallowed hard as part of the second shot dribbled out onto Sirius's stubbled chin. He licked his lips, and, as if controlled by some out-of-body desire, leaned over their small play area, over the long (so so long) legs of his husband's, and cupped his cheek, tugging him into a long, slow kiss.

To Sirius's credit, he only gave a choked sound of surprise before he was returning the kiss with leisurely hunger, a strong, calloused hand wrapping around Remus's wrist, holding his hand still. Without the slightest care, he crawled closer, over their suddenly abandoned cards, narrowly avoiding knocking over their latest opened beer. They drew away for a brief moment, hooded eyes regarding each other curiously, as if asking if this was okay, and when no denial came, their lips came crashing together once more - a kiss that was full of teeth and tongue and grunts and groans.

Sirius fell back, sprawling out completely on the floor, and the unrelenting man over him hardly paused, his hungry, wanting mouth moving over the rough chin of his lover to suck up the strayed drops of beer. And then, while his mouth ventured lower, nipping and sucking along the side of his neck, he was aware of Sirius's hands venturing up under the loosened dress shirt - the rough ridges and callouses of a life as a mechanic almost setting fire against his soft skin.

He returned the favour automatically, going after his husband's shirt and tugging it up, meeting minimal resistance from the carpet against the fabric.

It had hardly started when he heard Sirius breathing out "No, no. Stop."

Confused, he drew away, panting softly when his body found he didn't have nearly the acceptable amount of air in his body. This was what the man who laid on the floor in front of him /did/ to him. "What's wrong?" The husky, murmured question was filled with millions of other questions. Was he doing something wrong? Were they moving too fast for Sirius, or did he think Remus was only doing this because of the drink?

Nevertheless, no meant no.

Sirius sat up and there was no way anyone should've been allowed to have such a careless, easy grin on their face with a flushed face and mussed hair and his t-shirt halfway removed. "Why the hell should we bother with this when we have a perfectly good mattress in the other room? Two, in fact." He reminded, and Remus felt his face grow blank for a moment.

Then he was grinning and standing, tugging Sirius up with him. "You know? Silly me forgot. You have quite a good idea right there, Mr. Black." He murmured, tugging him into another kiss, brief, but this one ended with their mouths still touching. "Your place or mine?" His arms had settled around Sirius's waist, and Sirius's were over his shoulders, and for a brief second, they looked more like they were dancing, more than ready to go at it.

"I think yours. Mine's a mess." Sirius laughed breathlessly, and then suddenly they were /moving/. And more than moving but there were tugs and nips and grabbing at each others' clothes, leaving a nice trail from the living room to the slightly larger room. Sirius was pinned to the door for a moment while Remus fumbled for the knob. He groaned softly into the silent air while Remus sucked on the side of his neck again, and then the wood holding him upright was gone, crashing slightly into the wall. They themselves went tumbling back, landing on the bed with a sot creak of the mattress that hadn't quite been broken in, yet.

Remus had an inkling of a feeling that they'd manage to do just that, before the night was out.

* * *

Author's Note: Okay, we're approaching the end of the month, and I am so sorry, guys, but I only have chapter 5 written. Dx I hope you'll be okay with waiting three weeks before I update, after next week. u.u Though, I'll try my hardest to work on the chapter after that in spare time.

Still, just rest assured that I'm thinking about this story and how to progress it. =] I don't want to let down so many readers!

As for reviews, my mail got messed up, and I couldn't remember who I had replied to and who I hadn't. I'm very sorry, but I was very grateful for the reviews. They mean a lot to me!


	5. Chapter 5

_"So enjoy present pleasures as to not mar those to come. "_ - Senneca

Remus stretched when the first lights fell across him through the dirty window, and a soft groan escaped him. There was no confusion about where he was, or who he was with - this wasn't like the previous weekend, when waking up to the head of black hair beside him caused some panic and confusion. No, he knew where he was and who he was with - he rolled onto his side and smiled down at the messy head of black hair that was nestled against him.

The previous night had been amazing - frenzied and yet they had taken all the time they needed to learn every inch of each other's bodies. Remus couldn't remember the last time sex had been quite so pleasurable for him. Sirius had wanted him to take the reins of what happened, but he had waffled and stumbled until gently, Sirius eased him into things, and didn't show any sort of impatience at all that their feverish, hurried pace had slowed to a crawl, just in Sirius's effort to make it equal.

He shifted in the bed at the memory, and kissed the top of Sirius's head. "Come on, you big lug. Let's get up and get some breakfast." He laughed when the mess of hair apparently moved, snuffling as unseen lips moved up to the crook of his neck and kissed a bruised spot, before nuzzling away there.

"Dun' wanna get up."

"C'mon, Sirius. It's a beautiful Mon-" that was when Remus froze, eyes widening, and then he was scrambling away from the affectionate man, grabbing for his phone. The old, worn screen proclaimed that it was 7:40. Twenty whole buggering minutes until school started.

"Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck." He breathed, and before Sirius knew it, the brunette was bustling around the room, awkwardly stumbling around in naught but his skin. Clumsily, the bathroom door slammed while he practically jumped into the shower, and crawled out minutes later. It was a frenzy dressing, but he was done with enough time to get to school.

During this, Sirius had sleepily sat up, watching him, and flashed him a drowsy grin. "Never thought I'd find an English teacher hot..." He mused, and laughed when Remus threw a rolled up sock at him.

"Oh, shut it, you git. I'd much prefer to stay in bed with you all day." The admittance spilled out of his mouth before he could stop it, and then he flushed, quite aware of the grin widening on his husband's face.

"Oh?"

"But I can't. So you get dressed, enjoy a breakfast and your interview I overheard James tell you about, and I'll see you around 4." The words were as hurried as he had been, and he leaned down, kissing Sirius lightly.

And then shivered when Sirius's hand brushed against that lovely bruise on his neck that repeated nips and sucking had created. "Careful not to go around showing that off. Everyone'll think you had a wild weekend, not a family emergency." He grinned and Remus pulled away with another pouting frown.

And he almost returned with a retort, as well, before he looked at his cell phone again. "Shite! Bye, Sirius!" He waved slightly before racing out the door, just barely remembering to grab his suitcase.

The day went by tortuously slow. A few of his students had noticed the hickey and had quite clearly pointed it out. When they noticed the wedding ring in conjunction, though, their words were full of congratulations. All in all, it was quite embarrassing. Thankfully, he had enough sense to not tell them to call him by his new married name - he would've looked around for Sirius, had he heard a question directed to 'Mr. Black'.

Around lunchtime, he got a text message from Sirius, that simply said 'I got it', and a smiley face. Remus responded with a like face, smiling softly to himself.

School hurried on, finished, and so did the week. Sirius didn't start work until the next week, and so he was enjoying playing a domestic husband for now - Friday met Remus with another surprise, and Remus stared at Sirius when he picked him up at school, a second helmet perched on the back of the motorcycle, on top of a picnic basket. "C'mon. I told you I'd take you out on a real date, and James showed me the greatest spot yesterday." He was practically beaming at the thought, and that expression only grew when Remus tentatively climbed on behind him.

"You know I'm deathly afraid of this thing, right?" He murmured into Sirius's ear, fixing his helmet unsurely atop his head.

"Oh, come on. Just trust me, it'll be fun." Sirius promised with a shameless grin, winking at two girls walking out to the school's parking lot, who were pointing in shock that one of the most well known (and liked) Literature teachers at the school was on a motorbike with some strange man they'd never seen before. "Now, hold on tight, Remus, babe." He told him over his shoulder, and Remus nodded, wrapping his arms securely around Sirius's waist.

Someone would have to sit there and physically pry him off to shake him loose.

The bike roared to life, and as undignified as it was, Remus squeaked slightly, burying his face into his husband's back, and closed his eyes. Until he realized that they were moving smoothly down the street, wind playfully whipping at them. He looked around cautiously, before giving a laugh. "This is actually a lot of fun, Sirius!" He called ahead of him to the mechanic, who flashed him a grin before returning his attention to the road.

After a small while of driving through city, they were on a country road, and the smell of grass and rain and nature rose into the air around them, before the motorbike slowed to a stop. Remus looked around, and felt almost disappointed - not only was the area rather plain, but the ride, which had been breathtakingly fun, was over. "We're here?" Remus asked Sirius, who had stood from the bike and put the kickstand up.

"Not quite." He grinned, shaking his head. "You trust me, right, cutie?" An inquisitive tilt of his head, leaning closely into Remus, and Remus felt he would've agreed that the sky was on fire if Sirius wanted him to.

"Of course." He smiled.

"Good." Sirius seemed satisfied with that answer, and drew a long piece of silky black fabric from his pocket. The folds fell out delicately, and suddenly, Remus had reservations. What was that for? "Take off your helmet real quick, babe." Remus numbly did, once more, as he was instructed, setting the heavy black helmet in his lap. He looked inquiringly at Sirius, who just shook his head.

And then the fabric brushed against the bridge of his nose, and then fell over his eyes. Then it was gently tied in the back, and he felt Sirius lean in and gently kiss both covered eyelids. "Just trust me. I want to get everything looking just right before you see it." He smiled, the expression filled his voice till it overflowed. Remus nodded slightly, taking a gulp of breath, shivering when he felt those same gentle, calloused hands return the helmet on him.

"Sirius..." he hated to admit all of these unmanly sounds and tones that this experience was wringing out of him, but he never seemed to catch them in time.

Then his hands were being cradled in the calloused hands that he so admired, and Sirius's chapped lips were kissing the palms. Remus shivered - he'd never realized how much more alive every touch would feel if he couldn't see what Sirius was doing. And then his hands were released, and the bike shifted as Sirius sat in front of him once more. "Hold on tight, okay Remus? We'll be there before you know it, promise."

Remus nodded and locked his arms together around the other man's solid torso once more. "Ready? You have a good grip?"

"Yeah..." Remus's voice trembled slightly, but he nodded. He felt Sirius's hesitation, and shook his head. "I'll be fine. Let's just get there soon." Remus encouraged, leaning up for a brief moment, kissing the back of Sirius's neck, before settling back again, solidly.

The beast they were riding on roared to life, and Sirius laughed slightly at the small sign of affection. "Okay, and here we go!" He whooped, and Remus winced, feeling the air rush past them much fasted than before. But once more, before he knew it, they were slowing to a stop, and Sirius was climbing off the bike. "Okay, babe, just wait right there. And no peeking!" He teased with an easy laugh, stealing a kiss.

Remus nodded dutifully, and tried to figure out what was happening, based on the sounds. He knew that Sirius had taken the picnic basket off the bike, and he could hear the rustle of a tree, but that was it. He had felt them go steadily up a hill, but still, just knowing that they were higher up than they had been, and that there trees held no bearing on what Sirius was preparing to show him.

After what seemed like ages, Sirius was before him. "Ready?"

"More than. I was starting to think you'd abandoned me." Remus laughed softly, letting Sirius remove the heavy helmet, revealing the tawny strands, which he ruffled back to their normal state (amid laughter and denials of 'Never, never!'). Then one of his hands was in Sirius's, and he was led to standing, and carefully to a specific spot. He didn't release his hand, and instead stayed at his side.

"Okay, take off the blindfold." He murmured, and Remus lifted his suddenly freed up hands, undoing the knotted fabric and letting it fall away. And then he was smiling. At the view of the sweet little picnic for two, he couldn't help the way his lips curled into an easy smile.

"Oh, Sirius..."

There was an oak tree overhead, the sound of leaves brushing against each other rattling into the air. In the shade of the oak tree, was a small stone wall, flat on top, that used to likely mark off property. Now, though, it was falling apart in places, crumbling away - except for the center, where the shade of the oak tree fell. There, a blanket - red and white checkermarks - was draped over, held in place by a closed bottle of wine and the picnic basket.

All in all, it was possibly the sweetest thing a boyfriend had ever done for him.

"You're gonna catch flies with your mouth hanging open like that." Sirius teased, whispering in his ear.

The reminder that Sirius was right there made him jump in surprise, before he whirled and hugged him, kissing him. "Best date you could've taken me to." He announced decidedly, smiling brightly at him.

"But it hasn't even started." There was a confused blink from Sirius, though he was grinning pleasantly that Remus liked this plan of his.

"Sure it has!" Another kiss, and then another. The feel of the stubble on the older man's cheeks scratched him slightly, and he made a face, but then he dissolved into laughter. "The bike ride. That was easily the most arousing thing someone's dragged me along on. And now a full picnic in such a nice spot? Hell yeah, the date's started."

"Most arousing, huh?" Sirius grinned playfully. "Well, I'll have to keep that in mind later." He pressed their lips together, coaxing Remus's mouth open, deepening the kiss until they both had to draw away with soft pants - Remus leaning slightly against Sirius for support. "But come on, come on, let's eat and drink, for now." He laughed - the sound breathless, and a little wistful that they could carry on with what he'd started.

Remus figured that there was no reason to hold on that for too long. For the moment though, they both sat on the short wall, across from each other, and ate. Sirius had brought a pasta salad, and grapes, and sandwichs. It was a basic lunch, but the thought counted. Besides, Remus realized, there was something that made his gut twist when Sirius would lean over and push a grape in his mouth.

When the food was gone, Sirius gathered everything up and put it by the motorcycle while Remus spread out the blanket beneath the oak tree - having told Sirius, who was a little tipsy from the now empty bottle of wine, that he didn't want to risk the motorcycle while they were freshly buzzed from the wine. Then Sirius was back near him, tugging him into his arms and sitting, the tawny haired man folded into his arms comfortably.

Remus stretched out comfortably, back to Sirius's chest, arms wrapping back around his neck. Sirius took a deep breath in his hair, and Remus dissolved into soft laughter. "Like I said, best date ever." He murmured up at Sirius, closing his eyes as hands slipped over his waist, holding him close.

"You've had some pretty bad dates, then." Sirius summed up, trailing his lips behind Remus's ear, making his way to his neck. "'Cause this is nothing compared to some of the dates I want to do with you." He added with a soft laugh.

"You have no idea. This is wonderful though, Sirius. Thank you." He smiled softly, before turning in his arms, kneeling on the blanket, leaning in closely against him, letting their foreheads meet and press together. "This is lovely, Sirius. Just sitting together and enjoying meals and just everything..." He murmured.

"I'm glad you're enjoying this." Sirius smiled warmly, turning his head up to kiss him lightly. And then again, before he let his head fall back slightly with an adoring laugh. "I want to make you have plenty of lovely dates likes this, Remus."

"And why do you think I deserve wonderful dates, Sirius?" He laughed in surprise, watching him. Curiously. "I mean, we've only known each other two weeks, still."

"Well, you're a wonderful man. And I know that for a fact because I love you, Remus. And I wouldn't fall in love so easily with someone who wasn't completely wonderful." He sounded so sure, with his little grin, hands slipping to grip Remus's hips, staring up at him.

Remus felt his cheeks flare in embarrassment from the words before he melted into a warm smile, lifting a hand to caress Sirius's cheek. "I don't think I'm all at great... but I love you too, Sirius. There's just something - I love you." He shook his head, smiling, before yelping when Sirius whooped and tugged him down into a rough, adoring kiss.

* * *

Author's Note: Alright, that's the last of the chapters I have written. I'm so sorry, I've been a terrible author and neglected to respond to your reviews, but that doesn't mean I didn't read and love each and every of them.

Right now, I'm speeding along through NaNo with my original novel, but November is still three weeks from being over. I'll finish writing Last Name as soon as I can though - I love this story, and have no intent of abandoning it.

Thank you for reading so far, and I'll see you on the other side of November!


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